Saturday Serial

Last week Bad Ideas...

Part 21: Divide and cower
“Yeah... shit that is the worst idea I've had for a while” The Major replied looking down at Dunn, he looked even more like a kid than usual. His eyes wide and almost bursting forth from his skull.

“Fuuuuuuck” Brigazzo moaned ducking down then standing again like he was warming up for something. The sun now had disappeared away under the horizon, and it was getting dark quickly. Smythe seemed to be taking this all very well. But it was hard to tell with Smythe.

“It's not like we haven't done it before” He said still sitting on the ground.

“Jesus Smythe, sometimes you shit me” Brigazzo added burying his head in his hands.

“I'm hungry and I want to go home” Dunn said quietly to himself. He wasn't quite sure why, suddenly home seemed like a good place to be.

“Well you got the next best thing kid, recon in a enemy encampment.” Brigazzo answered him. And then they waited perched atop the hill hiding in the bushes waiting for the last of the light to leave. It seemed like a bad idea, but so had jumping out of the plane, maybe the Major could punch him the back of the head again and Dunn would just wake up and it would be over.

“Alright, so... anyone bring the raincoats?” The Major asked, already knowing it was in vain, he could remember dumping them before they even got on the plane.

“Oh you'd be fucking funny wouldn't you” Brigazzo answered back.

“Who ever is in the drink is down to cutlery then... any volunteers?” The Major asked next. It wasn't something any of them really wanted to do. Dunn especially since he didn't really know what was being asked.

“You really want to know whats in those boats?!” Brigazzo pleaded, the answer was clear cut, just a smile from the Major.

“Alright fine, that's me then, have fun in the jungle lads” Brigazzo smiled back sarcastically as he bent down and removed his boots and socks. “At least I get to go for a swim”

And with that he walked up the hill then down the other side. He slinked down the beach and into the water. The air was still warm so the sea wasn't cold at all. Over their shoulder the moon was starting to rise slowly soon it would be shining on the water Brigazzo would probably have to move faster if he didn't want to end up with a few extra holes.

“Cover his gun and his boots then we move” The Major said as he watched Brigazzo disappear out into the bay. Making his way stroke by stroke out to the dock. They hid his things under some leaves then made there way out into the jungle following the line of the beach around to the camp. It wouldn't be long before they'd come up against some sentries no doubt. Creeping silently as possible through the undergrowth, it became obvious that no one really expected any company out here. Only the occasional guard wandering by smoking as they went. Open uniform because of the heat. The lanterns illuminating a lot of the camp. They'd obviously not heard the plane or even expected to be disturbed.

“For gods sake don't shoot unless you have to” The Major whispered as softly as he could, he could still remember the advice his Major had given him. To only talk like your making love, though not worded as delicately as that. It had been quite funny listening to the hardened old man yelling points of wisdom especially 'whisper like you're fucking you're best friends wife while he's asleep next to you, in her ear and as soft as possible'. Out in the bay Brigazzo was reaching the dock, hovering on the surface of the water under the planks looking up through the gaps at the two guards who'd just walked out to ruin his day.

Dunn laid low trying to stay in the shadows, he knew it was a bad idea, but the Major didn't seem to, they had split up and gone to check out as much as they could. Smythe wandered off somewhere into the jungle smiling still like some over enthusiastic child. While the Major made his way in another direction all sticking to the darkened bits of the path. Truth be told he knew this was a bad idea as well, but he wouldn't tell anyone, as with all ideas in the army, they became better ideas with superiority. If he was a Colonel he probably would have got a blowjob for this idea. Dunn meanwhile had some how pushed his luck far beyond what was humanly possible and stood somewhere near the back of a tent intently listening to a conversation. A few German officers sat around a table drinking and laughing.

“No, no, in English... we don't want to let them in our little secret” One of the German voices said.

“Yes, indeed sorry Dr Versannct. We must be careful of wandering ears.”

humor-blogs.com thinks this is... ahhh, who am I kidding it's just a website, it's not capable of sentient thought... yet...

Adventures in the Public Domain: The Cat and Leroy

This week on The Cat and Leroy, the black text returns, and Pokemon?

Page Seventeen


To see the other pages simply click the 'The Cat and Leroy' label.

The comics this spoof is based on is believed by the author of this blog to be public domain, if they are not then apologies and they will be removed post haste upon notification.

humor-blogs.com is glad he was paying attention when he did this one...

This is a title...

So guess what, as of now, this post, the one you're reading, I've posted 250 poorly worded hardly amusing musings to this little Internet portal thingy. Ah the memories I have from it to, the horrible, worthless memories. Its hardly anything that will be of any use to me is it. Its not exactly going to get the girlies to drop the frillies, unless I'm really hanging out with the wrong people. OK enough waffle here's a top ten list to celebrate the fact I've wasted probably about 100,000 words on this shit of a site.

Top ten things you didn't know about me!
1. I hate tennis, its pointless. On the scale of the most pointless sports its right up there with... croquet... shit I don't know. If you're going to have two people competing in a physical competition, why not carry it to its logical conclusion and just have them fight to the death. Far more entertaining... or netball, netball is awesome.

2. I'm out of ideas already...

3. I love chocolate, and cake, and combinations of the two. If I had to choose between cake and ice cream for the rest of my life, I'd choose cake. Not funny or interesting really... but I don't care

4. I seriously considered writing a review for a skin movie I watched recently, and posting it here. If the one real sex scene hadn't been so explicit I probably would have. Would have been both interesting and uncomfortable wouldn't it.

5. I've started doing pilates-esque exercising... as of tomorrow I'll be handing in my penis.

6. My favorite animal is the octopus. Did you know they can travel out of water and fit into a space an eighth of their original size. And they make awesome comedy hats in cartoons.

7. I often make references to things in my posts that I know none of you are getting. Either because you haven't seen dragon ball z or you weren't there when me and my friends originally made the joke... so smell me nana you rassy chat.

8. No seriously I've got nothing left...

9. I use open office instead of word... I'm not sure how the spell check works and its been about three months. So I'm pretty much relying on the blogger spellcheck.

10. 'If you're looking for the one that fucked your mom'... yeah that was me... ok so no it wasn't but seriously I'm tapped and it was playing in the song I'm listening to. Tell me what song it was and who sung it and you can appear in your choice of the Saturday Serial, Adventures in the Public Domain (The Cat and Leroy + others), or Talk to Liam... So since no one will bother looks like I'm free and clear.

So cheer up honkies, enjoy your week.

humor-blogs.com is concerned about the state of things...

Saturday Serial

Last week Be active, never be inactive, and don’t react to the outcome of the work.

Part 20: Bad Ideas...
It was the same familiar story though, Dunn like lightning fading into the distance. They'd been going for hours Brigazzo and Smythe must have been close by now. Every now and then the Major would see Dunns outline flash between some trees, the dense undergrowth starting to darken as the sun went down. Eventually the sun began to poke through, the orange and yellow light punctuating the dark green, stabbing its way through. Finally Dunn was back in range waiting at the bottom of an outcrop, pointing up at Brigazzo and Symthe lounging around lazily on some rather soft looking grass. They smiled and looked rather relaxed, the bastards.

Dunn slumped down onto the ground and almost hyperventilating, the Major doing the same but hiding his distress a little better. Brigazzo slid down the hill and came over to greet the Major.

“Good to see you could make it Major” He said smiling holding out his canteen to the weary officer.

“Yeah” The Major gasped, gladly taking a drink. The sun was now teetering on the horizon the light fading quickly. Brigazzo wandered a few paces over to Dunn who was on his knees panting like a dog and sweating like a pig. He held himself off the ground, but his arms which were shaking a little.

“Nice work Dunn we weren't sure you'd make it back before dark” Brigazzo said jokingly, he held out his hand to help Dunn up, who dutifully accepted and pulled himself back to his feet. Brigazzo hadn't noticed in the dark but when he felt the grit on Dunns hands he looked down, the caked on dried out blood started to crack and rub off. Dunn pulled his hands away and stood there silent, Brigazzo thought about asking him why he was covered in blood but something seemed to tell him it wasn't the best of ideas. Dunn almost wavering on the brink of unconsciousness mostly. He breathed heavily and rubbed his hand across his forehead a few specks on blood rubbing off and sticking there. Brigazzo gave him a pat of the arm and a smile

“Sit down Dunn” He said to Dunn then turned to the Major.

“Up here Major you better take a look before if gets to dark” The Major followed him over and the two clambered up the hill and peered over the edge, in the fading light the Major was greeted with what hadn't given Brigazzo and Smythe such a worry.

“Fucking intelligence” The Major muttered to himself as he peered through the scope of the rifle. Brigazzo eyed the Major for a second that wasn't quite the reply he'd expected.

“Major?” Brigazzo said

“In a second Briggs” The Major replied still looking intently through the scope. He continued for a few minutes then slid back down the incline to where Smythe and Dunn sat. Brigazzo followed a few seconds later.

“Major?” Brigazzo asked again

“Yeah... there wasn't meant to be that much of a presence...” The Major replied

“And the Germans” Smythe asked

“They said maybe... but the SS. Fuck!”

“Why did you accept, if there was the risk of bullshit” Brigazzo asked angrily raising his voice as loud as remaining silent would allow.

“Since when do we accept missions, you're a fucking soldier and you go where you're told to” The Major replied sounding just as angry. Dunn looked on, it was the first time he'd seen the Major and Brigazzo at odds with each other.

“Well that's the problem with the army isn't it” Brigazzo answered looking away from the Major he was clearly still angry, at who Dunn wasn't quite sure. Maybe it was just at the fact things had just gone from kind if shitty to completely fucked.

“Well this isn't going to be a popular idea but...” The Major said after a long pause.

“Yeah, its not, is it” Brigazzo replied straight away. It seemed Dunn was the only one left out of the loop since Smythe added a casual expletive from his seat in the grass.

“What's going to be a bad idea?” Dunn asked clueless. The three others looked at him and smiled.

“Ah to be young and clueless again... we just found out instead of a small expeditionary force there is a whole fucking army waiting to shit on our plans... no what would be the worse thing to do when you find out your not fighting an alley cat but a group of very large pissed off lions?” Brigazzo asked still sounding increasingly annoyed.

“Uhh” Dunn peeped still a little confused

“The worse thing to do would be to dive into the cave with a steak strapped to your schlong and start doing the dance of the seven veils” Brigazzo replied to the confused Dunn.

“Well you have to get in close to see how big the claws are” The Major interrupted. It was only then Dunn was beginning to grasp the metaphor.

“We're going over there?” Dunn squeaked his voice betraying his want to seem brave.

Next week Divide and cower

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